As a start today i want to talk about my friends. I have been observing my friends these past few days thought about their problems.
My friends have the same agony as most teenagers. The girls cry about how much their period hurts and how much they eat.
The guys they or at least my friend is shy about his acne but is always trying to solve that problem by not eating chocolate which didn't work out for a year (i would never do that i prefer not to be seen then prevent the sweet taste of chocolate on my tastebuds.)
But there are many problems my friends seem to have that might relate to being a Palestinian and being an Arab and i want to discuss these.
First :
The inability for their parents to take them seriously.
You know on vines where the teenager says i want to be a singer and the parents reply by ohh a doctor thats good for you.
As a matter of fact thats true when my friends say i want to use my talent if its not a doctor or an engineer then its a no go.
Their parents accept the idea of doing nothing if we are not going near the borders of "tradition" a sentence i like to recall is: How am i gonna walk the street being the father of a model ?
I dont have that problem with my mother she is pretty open minded.
Second:
Inability to do activities in public areas.
Its not just public areas but organization too. I've touched this issue of not having enough non-formal educational programs briefly. Our clubs are too precise its either basketball or football for sports and music. Arts in general are not accepted and these groups are not founded. Gyms, pools and parks are hard to find so the teens stay at home or on the street where its not better off.
For me and my friends we don't go out much. Its either at school or in each others houses. Cinemas, parks and malls are a no go because our parents are too worried. If we talked in arabic (which i do loudly) we might face discrimination or even violence. Our parents are not ready for that they dont want to be the parents of martyrs. So we can only dream of a social life like what we see on television.
Third :
Our fear of politicalizing everything.
Just the name Palestinian can politicalize everything we do. As if everything we do is really thought through or has a meaning. We are afraid of being used to politicalize stuff. To send out messages that we dont mean. Its normal for teenagers to deliver the wrong message but here we pay for it.
For me I'm always considering boycotting but find it very difficult because I'm afraid of being fooled by smart shopkeepers but that doesn't mean that the guilt doesn't follow me around. I promise that this guilt follows all my friends.
Another example is my friend who applied to a program outside for writing. He applied to the american tel aviv embassy. He then was transferred to the one in jerusalem because he has no Israeli passport but was refused without having an interview because the Palestinian deadline is different than the Israeli one. It probably was a surprise for him when he knew he was considered as a Palestinian.
My friend really knows nothing about politics and doesn't care but he was prevented from going because well of political issues
Its funny how in other countries the teenager doesn't know who he really is but is starting to discover himself. It is expected from us to know everything about us and choose the ideology we will take on for the rest of our lives .
Fourth :
Inability to connect with anybody from outside.
We are seriously disconnected from the Arab world. I've visited two Arab countries and the difference is so definable. The walls that have been built on the west bank (the only real Arab region) are really seen when you find how much we've been missing out wether on tv shows, candy or clothes
Of course we can't really connect with the Israelis.
We are not from the foreign world. They don't really want us unless we are extremely smart.
The thing is when I'm asked for my nationality i don't know what to answer and there are millions like me.
Fifth :
People like me and my other two best friends.
We are put aside when compared to our class. we grew up differently by saying thank you, sorry and not hurting animals.
The people who speak good english and generally don't curse.
The people who are undecided about their religion. They read and started talking about college 4 years before their classmates did.
The difference is strongly felt between us and the rest of our people.
We are looked at as weirdos for being polite and articulate. We are laughed at for speaking english. We are laughed at because we try.
We collect each other as groups and i believe each school has 5 or 6 people like us.
The people who grew up the "foreign way " as my classmates call it.
We are proud to show the difference to everybody around us. Unlike many others we don't hide. This is considered as improper.
The problem here lies in our wanting to go outside and them wanting to diminish our existence due to reasons i will discuss later.
Sixth:
This may only apply on me.
I sadly feel like i posses nothing here. I and my family don't own a house nor a garden not even memories. There is nothing to look back on.
Its like nothing of my existence was engraved here. As if my childhood and teenage years have been lost as if they passed in seconds.
I'm afraid that these memories that I'm making now or will be making will also be lost into the void if i stay here.
I don't want to generalize. This might only apply on me. I hope people can relate.
27th sunday
malak
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